I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
