Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
