So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
