It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
