she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
