Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
this just has baby written all over it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
