mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just tell him i said nine months
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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