That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just want to make out with him forever
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize