everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Randomize
