im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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