Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
