you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize