So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
