She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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