obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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