my mouth tastes like poor choices
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
