We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
