and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
