I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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