we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
