sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
