just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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