How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
