I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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