There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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