seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
