His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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