didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
