Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
