I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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