I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she smelled like a LAN party
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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