Need sex. Gaining weight.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
