She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We are two peas in an std pod
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
