I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
