In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
