Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
dude. I can hear the air.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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