Me too!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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