ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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