i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
