Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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