he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
