she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
