I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
