Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
