i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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