The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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