You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
