i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
