is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
