Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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