am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
