I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
