You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
