first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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