i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
