Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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