Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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