Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
