Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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