My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
