i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
