this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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