walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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