yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
why is half of my head shaved?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
